As a plus-one at a wedding or company event

Dinner for two is straightforward. A wedding or a company event is not: those rooms are full of people who know you, ask questions and remember things.

Why women bring a companion

The reasons are less dramatic than outsiders assume. A wedding where you would be the only one alone at the table. A company event where everyone arrives in pairs. A reunion. A family occasion after a separation. It is rarely about impressing anyone and almost always about relief.

The conversation beforehand decides everything

A good plus-one evening is not decided in the room, it is decided in the conversation before it. Settle at least these:

• The story. How you met, since when, what he does. Keep it simple and close to the truth. Elaborate constructions fall apart; plain ones do not.
• The status. New, casual, open? That sets how much closeness is believable.
• Names. Who matters, who is awkward, who you do not want to talk to for long. Five names is enough.
• The exit signal. An agreed sign for leaving a conversation. Sounds excessive; at a large party it is worth a great deal.
• Leaving. When you go, and whether you go together.

The questions that will definitely come

At weddings it is always the same two: how did you meet, and when is it your turn. Anyone who has run through them once answers easily rather than caught out. For the second, humour and a change of subject is usually the best move.

Dress: one notch below you

A good companion does not draw attention. He matches the occasion and stays a shade below your look, because that evening you are the one at the centre. Send the dress code in advance, and for company events the industry too.

Company events: a different demand

At professional occasions it is not only him being watched, it is you in his company. What counts here is restraint: listening, not dominating, not holding opinions on things he does not know, and staying composed with alcohol.

Photos, and what happens afterwards

Weddings get photographed and pictures end up in group chats. Raise it beforehand. Many companions deliberately stand at the edge in group photos so cropping stays easy.

How to find the right person

For this occasion, bearing matters more than looks. Our profiles are written about exactly that. How it works is set out in how an enquiry works.